According to a recent Harvard study, approximately 18% of teenagers aged 14 to 17 regularly feel stressed and anxious. In addition, 15% experience consistent feelings of depression.
Would you say your teenager would agree?
It's no secret that one of the most formative and development times in your child's life also happens to be one of the most stressful. Middle school and high school years are peak times for socialization and learning, but can also lead to frustration, overwhelm, and social isolation.
You're not alone, and you're not unequipped. Today, we're sharing our top anxiety coping skills for teens so you can help your child work through these feelings, finding clarity and calm on the other side.
Actively Listen
Venting and verbally expressing their emotions, anger, fears, and frustrations is one of the most common ways teenagers cope with stress. When they share these feelings, they aren't always looking for a quick reply or solution. Many times, they simply want someone to sit with them, genuinely listen, and empathize with what they're going through.
As a parent, your first inclination might be to offer a solution or workaround to ease some of your child's anxiety. While this can be helpful in some cases, begin by actively listening to what they're trying to tell you. Active listening means not only hearing what they're saying but being mindful throughout the conversation, truly trying to understand the meaning and intention behind their words.
Some of the ways you can let your teen know you're actively listening to them include:
Being fully present during the conversation (no screens!)
Making eye contact
Asking open-ended questions
Noticing and using non-verbal cues
Reflecting on what they're saying
Listening to understand, not just respond
Try to withhold judgment and advice unless your teen directly asks for it. Most of the time, they simply want you to validate their experience, not fix it immediately. The more you can openly and actively listen without giving input, the more likely they are to come to you when they need another vent session.
Of course, holding these kinds of productive conversations will also give you natural moments when you can ask questions such as:
"How can I best support you in this situation?"
"What are some ways we can find calm right now?
"What things would feel helpful in this moment?
Talking openly like this encourages your teenager to take an active role in their own problem-solving efforts. Together, you can find a solution that will help relieve some of their present-moment stress and alleviate their anxiety.
Encourage an Outlet
As a parent, think about what you do when you're feeling overwhelmed.
Do you soak in a hot bubble bath? Play some of your favorite music? Go on a long walk?
Is your teenager enduring stress without some type of similar outlet? In today's always-on world, most young adults are pulled in a million different directions around the clock. In addition to pressures at school, they might also feel anxiety about sports, extracurricular activities, social activities, and family relationships.
This also happens to be the time that many of them are starting to think about college, which brings its own complete set of fears, worries, and concerns. If they're asked to shoulder all of this weight alone, it can quickly become too much to bear.
Encourage your teenager to think about something they'd enjoy doing if only they had the time, space, and resources to do it. If they're unsure, try to reflect on some of the things they used to do as a young child, before real-life pressures entered their reality.
Did they used to enjoy painting? Dancing around to their favorite music in the living room? Playing in nature?
Encourage them to get back there, and try those activities again. Look for ways to re-structure their schedule so they can make time for them without feeling anxious. This might mean going for a backyard walk as soon as they get home from school or having a 10-minute dance party before heading out in the morning.
Remind them that these stress management activities are theirs to enjoy. There's nothing they need to achieve or no mark they have to hit. They'll begin to realize there's value in nourishing their mental health, no matter what that might look like for them.
Practice Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness might seem complicated, but it just means becoming acutely aware of your inner state and surroundings. It's a time to check in with yourself and understand how you're feeling, what's hurting, and what's happening in the present moment. Children, teenagers, and adults can all benefit from taking just five to 10 minutes each day to sit and reflect.
If you think this might be difficult for your teen, there are resources that can help. Today, you can find lots of anxiety management apps on your smartphone, including meditation apps like Calm and Headspace. The more they practice staying mindful, the easier it will be for them to regulate their nervous system when stress and anxiety creep in throughout the day.
Limit Screen Time
We live in the Digital Age, so it's nearly impossible to assume that your teen won't be on a screen for at least some portion of the day. They're using technology at school and home, which isn't always a bad thing. It's here to stay, and one of the most important things you can do for your children is teach them how to use it in a healthy way.
Instead of banning screen time completely, work with your teen to set limits and boundaries. Ask them how they feel when they spend a lot of time behind their computer or phone. While they may think that zoning out to a YouTube video or scrolling through Instagram reels can help ease their mind, studies show that these platforms aren't effective anxiety coping mechanisms.
In fact, there's a negative correlation between a teen's mental health and the amount of time they spend online. Together, come up with a manageable schedule that will still give them time to chat with friends and digitally connect, but won't take up too much of their valuable spare time.
Teach the Mind/Body Connection
If you have a stressed teenager, there's a good chance they aren't thinking too deeply about why they feel that way. They might simply know that their mind is racing and their body feels tight.
Explain to them that these two parts are closely linked. When they're not eating well, sleeping enough, and moving their body in healthy ways, their mind will feel the effects. They might feel scatterbrained, angry, or on edge.
At the same time, the opposite also holds true. When their minds are filled with dread or thoughts of anxiety, these emotions can manifest themselves in physical ways. For example, they might have an upset stomach, muscle cramps, or shortness of breath.
Help your child understand how physical and mental health are interconnected. Then, show them ways to nurture both.
Lead by Example
Your teenager might be growing into an adult, but they still look to you as a role model -- even if they'd never outwardly admit it! That said, one of the most helpful things you can do as a parent is to let them "catch" you using your own anxiety coping mechanisms the next time you're feeling overwhelmed.
Take breaks. Go outside. Find a calm corner and take some deep breaths.
If your teen sees you tending to your own mental health, they're more likely to follow suit when they start to feel stressed. At the same time, they'll also notice when you're not taking the time to practice self-care. They're watching!
Help Them Find Professional Support
Sometimes, at-home techniques aren't always enough to help your teen overcome feelings of stress and anxiety. When this is the case, help them find a local mental health professional to speak to. Counseling can also be a wonderful complement to other therapies and strategies your teen is implementing.
When they have the space to express their feelings and share their concerns in a confidential, neutral space, they may be more inclined to open up and listen.
The same goes for you! If your teenager sees you attending therapy sessions and notices the difference they're making in your life, they may be naturally curious about trying the services for themselves.
Remember: Allowing an expert to help doesn't mean you're not doing a good job, or you weren't enough for your child. It means you're tapping into all available resources to help them be as healthy and happy as they can be.
Discover More Anxiety Coping Skills for Teens
The teenage years can be incredibly wonderful, full of growth and big milestones. They can also be crushingly stressful, especially for teens growing up in today's society.
These are a few of our top anxiety coping skills for teens, but they aren't the only ones. At Intermountain Counseling, we provide individual, relationship, group, and family therapy to help you work beyond obstacles and find health and healing on the other side.
We also offer dedicated therapy sessions just for teenagers, providing practical strategies to help them overcome anxiety, depression, trauma, and more. Contact us today to learn more and schedule a free consultation.
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